Brittney Loves Bob: A Sweet Farewell

This post is a little difficult to write, but I feel like I need to, because it's therapeutic. I didn't know my cousin Joe's wife Britney very well. I only saw her a handful of times, and it was always at a family gathering where I was trying to catch up with a lot of people all at once. Despite this, I felt a strange connection to her. Maybe it was because I was her name twin, which she loved to remind me of every time we met. Or maybe it was the warm and joyful embrace she was always so ready to give for no particular reason at all. More than likely it was because that was simply the type of person she was. She drew you in. Everyone wanted to know her, and to be friends with her. She was genuine and she loved everyone. She was the happiest, most positive person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Her spirit was infectious!

I'm no expert on the details, but here's a little of what I knew of Britney. Britney had quite the crush on my cousin Joe for a long time. She never thought she would marry him, but she was sure determined that whoever she married should be just like him! Shortly after she came home from a church mission to Slovenia, she and Joe started dating. They were already best friends so it wasn't too much of a leap for them to fall madly in love. I remember their wedding day. I don't remember many family members weddings, but I remember theirs. I remember seeing the way they looked at each other. I remember it was close to Christmas so they tied Christmas decorations into their wedding decor. I remember there was a lot of blue, including her shoes which were the same shoes I was wearing except mine were pink and white. It was a beautiful day. A few months later, Britney was diagnosed with Leukemia. The treatment was intense, but Britney kept a positive outlook on life the entire time. She started a blog about her treatments and how she was feeling. There was never a moment reading her deepest thoughts that I felt like there was room for fear or sadness. There was only room for hope and love and positivity. She beat Leukemia and went into remission.

Unfortunately the odds of her conceiving a child after such a terrible battle were slim to none. The radiation and chemo should have rendered her infertile. That's why it was such a wonderful shock when she announced she was pregnant around 18 months ago. It was the miracle baby no one thought would ever come! She was so excited to become a mom. I remember her baby shower like it was yesterday. Surrounded by her family opening gifts for a baby boy she couldn't wait to meet. To hold in her arms, and love and cherish and raise. Something she didn't know if she would ever have the chance to do. Happiness radiated off of her that day. I also remember the words of hope and keeping a positive outlook on life she gave to my cousin Tiffany who was battling her own cancer demons. That's why it was so tragic when Grayson was finally born but Britney was re-diagnosed with Leukemia. She had her baby, but she was stuck away from him for so long. Constantly fighting and trying to get back to her sweet boy so she could be the mother she desperately wanted to be. She took to blogging again and I followed it closely as well as her Facebook posts. Everything she wrote was positive and hopeful. I couldn't help but be hopeful for her too. I just knew she would beat cancer again and live for many many years to come.

Unfortunately I was wrong. She passed suddenly the night of the 27th. I should have seen it coming but I didn't. I was shocked. I had the hardest time trying to explain to my husband my emotions as I thought of my poor cousin Joe, now a widower and single parent of little Grayson. I thought of baby Gray having to grow up with only pictures and stories of his mom but never able to make memories of his own with her. I thought of Britney and how she wanted to be there for her husband and child and didn't even get to see her son's first birthday. I thought of how hard she fought for her life, and the fact that her life had been taken anyway. I cry every time I think of it!

However I'm happy that she isn't in pain anymore and that she no longer has to suffer. Her battle is over and she fought bravely. I'm glad that she was a part of my life. She has inspired me to be a better person myself. To dwell on the positive rather than the negative even if there isn't much to be positive about. To smile for everyone, because it's the greatest way to influence those around you. And of course to keep hope always, because even if my battle is lost - I may help give someone else courage to win their battles. Sleep in sweet peace Britney. You are loved and missed by many!